**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
