I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
