I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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