dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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