She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
