How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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