drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
