Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
