tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
