Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
