just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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