I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
