Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
