Buhtt sex?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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