I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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