A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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