were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
