i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
