I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
