Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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