Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize