i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
