doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What did we do last night that was yellow?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
