Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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