What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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