Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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