Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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