Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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