So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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