I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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