Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize