Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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