i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
