The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
