i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
