forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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