she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
