she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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