umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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