i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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