If that was your dad, he is hot
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
