Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
