it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
