i just wanna soil my oats bro
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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