You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
