Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
