You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
