weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
