3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
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