Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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