Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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