There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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