What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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