I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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