Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
