I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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