It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
