playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
