Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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