Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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