he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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