did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
