I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
