so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
