one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
