Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
